It has been a shock to me how much I have changed but it seems that it runs the other way as well and how much people perceive that I have changed. The change has been more physical than anything else. Although I have not really felt that I have changed too much, I can chalk it up to a lot of small changes. The obvious difference that people comment on is my weight. I have lost about 20 pounds since a year ago, about 10 percent of my total weight. On top of that, my recent LASIK surgery gives me freedom from my glasses. I have also recently dyed my hair. It is uncommon as I rarely do so. However, it seems that I have redefined myself with all these changes that every person I have run into tells me that I am completely different and a new person. Literally from head to toe, I am mostly a different person. I didn't really feel all that different with all these changes until after everyone started commenting on it.
I am used to letting comments, whether it be good or bad, to roll off and not affect my feelings. However, this influx of comments, positive ones thankfully, have started affecting my confidence. I feel like a truly different (and much more chipper) person just because of the waves of positivity and I am truly grateful that it has made me feel happier.
I have also been trying to change how I think. I am not a completely depressing person, but I feel like I should be more cheerful as I feel like the last two years have been quite heavy on me. I have started taking a couple steps to achieve this. I have started meditating everyday (or at least try to) focusing on chakras and calming my mind usually at either the start or the end of the day (or any time during the day, it does not hurt to just calm yourself randomly). I don't want to push people away, but sometimes it's necessary and I feel that some friends bring out the negativity in life and we truly are what we surround ourselves with. The more I ask myself where I want to be, the more I have kept saying "somewhere else". Be more dynamic. Take risks. Fear is an illusion. I'm jumping into the unknown with personal and professional decisions so that I reach for the stars. The biggest obstacle is seeing the ground beneath me and hoping gravity doesn't bring me down. For now I'm ignoring it and look up. The ground will always be there for you to land no matter how hard, but the sky and the heavens are endless. Dream for the stars and hopefully you can defy gravity.
The last but most important step for me is chanting my happiness mantra at the end of the day before I go sleep. "I will find my happiness. I will find my path. I will find my passion." This defines my current mission in life and helps me focus on changing my life for the better.
2010 has been good so far for me. Here's to hoping it lasts forever (or at least for a while). Riding on the wave of positivity 2010. =)