Day 15 – What is the Most Painful Thing You’ve Ever Had To Experience To Date?
The most painful thing I've had to deal with is my physical issues with my knee.
It started 15 years ago when I first twisted and dislocated my knee. A few weeks later, I was developing discomfort and serious pain when I was exercising, and then my knees started giving out.
The next 3 years consisted of pain and falling over. The fear of even thinking about running was hindering me on a daily basis. I went to specialists, got a few X-rays, as well as an MRI (with no results-the doctor saw nothing wrong in my joint).
Eventually, there were small bits of cartilage floating around and eventually forming large enough that I could feel it using my fingers. I went to see a different specialist this time and was able to get operated on to remove these. The doctor performed an arthroscopic surgery cutting small holes to remove the little balls of cartilage. I was relieved to have the cartilage cleaned out.
After I recovered, I thought I was in the clear. But after a few months, the bits of cartilage started forming again. I was back in surgery a year later to clean it out again.
My knee has been free of debris (as far as I can tell), but it still gives out sometimes. I finally got a proper diagnosis from an (another) orthopedic specialist last year to realize that it has something to do with a muscle known as the Vastus Medialis Oblique. It is what has been causing my knee to give out.
Although my knee joint hasn't fully healed yet. It's a relief now that I know what's wrong with it, but it's still a psychological burden on not knowing if my body can handle the normal limitations of exercise. It feels like my body is still betraying me. It's painful on the different aspects of my life: psychologically, physically, and emotionally.
I try to live life moving forward and trying to push the pain down and base it on the idea of the quote: "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional" -unknown.